1. |
The Only Parachute
03:05
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The Only Parachute
When she said “I miss you every time you go away”
She didn’t say the thing that I’d have killed for her to say
When she said she wanted me I just grinned that knowing grin
That says “there’s no point trying to kid ourselves we both know I can’t win”
When she said she loved me – my suspicions were confirmed
We hadn’t got this straightened out…in fact we’d got it permed
When she said she needed me – I sort of wild guessed
That she’d want one in the garage while she test-drives all the rest
When she said “I miss you every time you go away”
She didn’t say the thing that I’d have killed for her to say
When she said she needed me – I sort of wild guessed
That she’d want one in the garage while she test-drives all the rest
And when she said “I’m out of here” – I knew without a doubt
That she’d take the only parachute before finally bailing out
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2. |
Honeymoon At Home
02:57
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Honeymoon At Home
I've been so lonely for so long
It never crossed my mind I was wrong
You know all too well what a fool I can be
And no one can save you from me
A love I never thought I'd find
Some might say I'm losing my mind
It's perfectly clear I have nothing left to give
But I'll love you as long as I live
But I'm just a man
And I've made mistakes
And I'm going to make it up to you
No matter what it takes
I'd have given you the world
London, Paris, Rome...
But for now, we'll have our honeymoon at home
Maybe you'll help me settle down
We'll sneak off to some picture postcard town
Spend our days in autumn's haze off the beaten track
Promising we're never looking back
Let's lock the door
Pull down the blind
Sit down here beside me
We'll leave the world behind
The vows are exchanged
And our fates are entwined
The capsule is yours
And the bullet is mine…
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3. |
Friends On Benefits
03:12
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Friends on Benefits
I've got friends on benefits
but they're hidden away from view
In case it shows that our system's
catastrophic too
They earn your disdain
by staying in bed
and loafing around
for their daily bread
I've got friends on benefits
who would love a living wage
preparing them for poverty
at a pensionable age
They won't fight your wars
they won't sweep your streets
they're someone to blame
when history repeats
You can sacrifice your sanity
and escape the daily grind
for a pocket full of nightmares
in a welfare state of mind
I've got friends on benefits
you wouldn't like to meet
You label them degenerates
and keep them off the street
I've got friends on benefits
you wouldn't care to know
you label them degenerates
and go on with the show
I've got friends on benefits
it's never going to stop
until there are less degenerates
generating hatred from the top
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4. |
Abandon Ship
02:45
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Abandon Ship
Every day’s different…but largely the same
this village is walking the plank
it’s destined to drop off the road maps
and no-one will know where it sank
abandon the ship ‘cos there’s nothing left here
the past’s dead and gone and the future’s not clear
and the old man he coughs and he splutters
as he brings up the fruits of his toil
as he drags on the woodbine that one day
gonna drag him down into the soil
He’s always intended to die here
perhaps that explains why he laughed
‘cos he knows he won’t find the direction in life
that he lost when he fell UP that shaft
So they landscape the slag heaps around us
and leave us to rot in the streets
of a village that once got knocked flat on it’s arse
and just couldn’t get back on it’s feet
i’m gonna drown in a wave of nostalgia
bringing turnips back home from the tip
you can go jump in a lifeboat
i want to go down with my ship
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5. |
Government Surplus
03:24
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Government Surplus
Now I'm government surplus
No longer required
Seems that my civil circus
Membership has expired
I hear the national anthems
And I choke on the tunes
Unless I misunderstand them
They're gonna send in the goons
My security clearance
And my future's withdrawn
My disappearance
Surprises no-one
I came up with the facts
Instead of the goods
The dark actor acts
And I'm dead in the woods
They wouldn’t dare have an inquest
In case questions are asked
And most people lose interest
Before the monster's unmasked
You can always recycle
The honour you gave
Like St George and St Michael
Were just a pawn and a knave
Death is a picnic
compared to the pain
What I was proud of
Now feels like a stain
They called me distinguished
On Her Majesty's list
Then they had me extinguished
With a trick of the wrist
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6. |
Disaster Strikes
02:32
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Disaster Strikes
There’s a light…which might go out
I’ve got to try…and make it count
I spend so much time sitting on my arse
And I watch the days drift by
Then there’s an urge to go and get something done
That gets lost in reasons why
And though I need to make it happen
I just can’t seem to get at them
I’ll be alright…I’ll do what I like
Before Disaster Strikes
There’s a chance…perhaps just one
I’ve got to take…before it’s gone
I can’t pretend that all is wonderful
When it’s obviously not
Or say that I don’t even want
The things I haven’t got
And watch the fat-assed calf get fatter
And pretend it doesn’t matter
I’ll be alright…I’ll take a hike
Before Disaster Strikes
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7. |
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Sometimes Blue, Mostly Black
I carved our names in quicksand
You've left me up on bricks and
You're up to your old tricks and
what can I do?
I know that by tomorrow
You'll have shaken off your sorrow
and be shaping up to swallow
Someone new
And I can't find a way
And I can't make you see
I can't make it back
To where I want to be
Cos it's gone
And it won't come back
So It's sometimes blue
but it's mostly black
It'll always be there
In the back of your mind
Ready to wreck
Whatever you find
First you said believe me
You're never going to leave me
You made it look so easy
Then you packed
No sooner did I find you
Then you'd put it all behind you
You're too cruel to be the kind who'd
Want me back
Now I curse the day I met you
Desperate to forget you
I don't know why I let you
Let me down
And the smile upon your face meant
You'd picked up my replacement
From the Nightclub bargain basement
Over town
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8. |
Ashley Madison
02:51
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Ashley Madison
Angus made a dawn escape from Aberdeen
Penny travelled all the way from Devon
For the purpose of a one night stand
That didn't go as either planned
where M6 intersects A57
Malcolm got the 08:15 from Manchester
Mary melts away from Milton Keynes
She packed away her wedding ring
and said "I'm up for anything"
And now she knows what necromancing means
There's nothing quite as sad as an
Affair with Ashley Madison
Premier Inn or Travelodge
You'll long to get back into Dodge
The shame is not compulsory
your first stab at adultery
pricked your conscience more than anything else
Elizabeth's a game old bird from Buckingham
Cliff's a pasty, portly chap from Dover
His profile is a pack of lies
with a selfie his Ma wouldn't recognise
They'll both be quite relieved when it's all over
Bob's the Casanova of the Yorkshire Dales
He only booked the hotel for an hour
Debbie's doing Bicester
while her husband does her sister
and they’ll all be doing their crying the shower
Marriot or Radisson?
check-out Ashley Madison
We do our bit when booty calls
To help you empty and lose your balls
you won't call me a cynic
when you're sat outside the clinic
with an itch that you don't wish
to scratch
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9. |
Stand Down
04:12
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Stand Down
Those who met me
They won't forget me
But you’ve got to let me go
Understand
I've done all I can
I'm winding up the show
Stand down
Don't be sorry
There’s a bigger story
And now we know their game
I don't feel danger
Got one in the chamber
They can't even say my name
Stand down
Stand down
Stand down...it's true
Stand down
Stand down
I’m gonna stand down too
Leave it all behind me
Let the sheriff find me
And don't touch a single thing
There'll be some crying
And rumours flying
But then the birds can sing
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10. |
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You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me
You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me
You never show – I never see
What I need to see from you
It doesn’t matter what you do
You’ll be where I want to be
Here’s a written guarantee
You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me
You might have played your little game
But nothing’s changed – it’s just the same
I still want you here, right now
Anyway and anyhow
You’ll forget those other men
And I’ll throw away this pen
When I’m holding you again
Cos I don’t understand what goes on
Or what I’m continually running from
Maybe it’s time to stand still
And let it come in for the kill
You never fully understood
It’s just not true that I’m no good
I’d do anything for you
But you’ve got to want me to
Maybe one day you might see
And not be too sad to agree
You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me
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