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Thoroughly Unconvincing

by The Funeral Crasher

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1.
The Go-to-Guy If you’re much mistaken There for the taking Permanently shaken but not stirred If you don’t want choices Or dissenting voices This could well be all you’ve ever heard Don’t wanna know so you don’t ask why Nodding your head but you know it’s a lie That’s what you get when you go to the Go to Guy Get a nice back-hander For their propaganda Did you even understand a single word they said Can we stop pretending This is ever ending Screeching preaching teaching talking heads It was what you needed So you begged and pleaded Sucked it up and swallowed every single line When your brain’s vacation Needs some vindication These guys gonna fit you up just fine Don’t wanna know so you don’t ask why Nodding your head but you know it’s a lie That’s what you get when you go to the Go to Guy If you feel in the dark which you need to deny They got a never ending supply You got to go have a word with the Go to Guy You could think for yourself give it a try Or wave at the truth as it’s passing you by You’ll be glad you avoided the Go to Guy
2.
Lintz Green 03:25
Lintz Green Left Newcastle 
Crossed the Tyne
 Up the valley 
On the Derwent Line Last train home
 Consett bound 
A moonless night 
As the whistle sounds Cuts and bridges 
Rolling past
 Dressed in stone
 And built to last Picket Fences
 Flowers in bloom 
A well-kept platform
 And God’s waiting room Station Master 
Bids goodnight 
Locks the door
 And puts out the light Then a gunshot 
Breaks the spell
 Broken hearted 
Mr Wilson fell Lintz Green...
3.
How Much 03:19
How Much? How much do I hate this shit?  Let me count the ways I don't just hate the things they do I also hate the things they say How much is it all fucked up?  How long have you got?  Must have seen it coming  Evidently not Placing your trust In self centred psychos Seems we can't wait To seal our own fate Or you wish it away Swallow the black pill You'd rather comply Curl up and die Maybe you'd like to Follow the science  Back to the day They threw us away Picked up the cheque  And sided with tyrants You can't understand  They're part of the plan They shepherd the flock You don't even notice  The mark of the beast Until you've been fleeced By then it's too late We're into the end game  You bleat yourself hoarse They grab the mint sauce How much do I hate this shit?  Let me count the ways I don't just hate the things they do I also hate the things they say How much is it all fucked up?  How long have you got?  Must have seen it coming  Evidently not I think we've lost the plot We'll suss it when we're taken out and shot... 
4.
When We’re Gone I don’t think of me any more Now there’s no such thing as before One. Since the day that we met us After that, everything changed Out of our hands like it’d all been arranged SItting back watching the stars combust Though the world might keep on spinning And its people carry on I’ll have nothing left to hang my dreams upon Though I won’t be around to see it I can fairly guarantee it I sure am gonna miss us when we’re gone We still had the world at our feet The day I felt your heart miss a beat Gone. And the angels took you home Even when you’re not by my side I still take you along for the ride Neither of us could ever be on our own Though the world might keep on spinning And its people carry on I’ll have nothing left to hang my dreams upon Though I won’t be around to see it I can fairly guarantee it I sure am gonna miss us when we’re gone...
5.
The Clown Show Must Go On You might fool them But I’m not blind I don’t trust you Change my mind You’ve got the right To prove me wrong Until then I guess The Clown Show Must Go On Sussed you out and marked your card Promises made We can disregard You’ve got the right To prove me wrong Until then I guess The Clown Show Must Go On I hear you talk Alarm bells ring I can only despair At the whole damn thing You’ve got the right To prove me wrong Until then I guess The Clown Show Must Go On
6.
Couldn’t Happen Here Got a finger on our pulses
 Got our knackers in a vice
 Got a jackboot on our windpipes
 In case you have to tell us twice We watched your credibilty 
 Slowly disappear
 Now we see you promising 
 It definitely couldn’t happen here With shortages of carrots 
All you’ve got’s the stick
 You can beat them to submission
 That’s Realpolitik The writing’s on the wall
 But there’s no need to fear 
As we spiral to destruction
 You’re pretty sure it couldn’t happen here Got our hands over our ears 
Got a clothes peg on our nose
 We could see where this was heading
 Through eyes tightly closed A radioactive wasteland
 Makes quite a souvenir
 But it’s not much consolation 
For what you figured couldn’t happen here
7.
Requiem For The Suicided If you shine a light in places where the shadows hide the faces Of the puppet-masters pulling all the strings With distortions and omissions reinforcing your suspicions You're engaging in some very foolish things This is a requiem for the suicided uninvited "shouldn't write it" journalistic types They can feed you some exclusive But you must be less intrusive Like the other tippex-wielding gutter snipes You know you cannot fight it It's expertly expedited But you want to see the face behind the mask And you're always taking chances when you're looking for the answers To questions that you're not supposed to ask This is a requiem Someone suicided them If you iron out the creases and you find too many pieces Of a puzzle you're not meant to figure out It all gets pretty sloppy Before you've even posted copy Suicide…without a shadow of a doubt…
8.
A Benylin Junkie You’ll have to count me out, I'm a man off a mission Permanently stuck in the recovery position Been diagnosed with bed-lag but that won’t paint me blue If I can’t get some Night Nurse, then Calpol will do And before anyone scoffs It isn't for kicks - it's for coughs I'm asleep at the organ along with the monkey I'm under control I'm A Benylin Junkie Any kind of effort makes me feel lousy It did say on the bottle that it could well make me drowsy That’s just the price I’m happy to pay To stick my head in the sand and wish it all away And before anyone scoffs It isn't for kicks - it's for coughs I'm asleep at the organ along with the monkey I'm under control I'm A Benylin Junkie Gotta keep my head down I’m hiding from the sun I’d get my shit together…but this duvet weighs a ton On a snail-blazing quest to make things even easier I'm a low-octane loser with a taste for anaesthesia And before anyone scoffs It isn't for kicks - it's for coughs I'm asleep at the organ along with the monkey I'm under control I'm A Benylin Junkie
9.
Walk in Wardrobe Well their envy’s true I guess they never knew How much heartache someone could be going through Could they misconstrue and look up to The kind of man who’d end up doing this to you Find a new way out of that walk in wardrobe find a better way than the way that you came in You could lose yourself in that walk in wardrobe Or find yourself and quietly shed that skin You're still put upon though the kids are gone Can this ridiculous charade be fooling anyone With the curtains drawn for the denouement When it all adds up to less than you had counted on Now you’re on your way to a brighter day And all your pain and suffering just fades away You don’t have to stay in this cabaret Doesn’t even have to matter what the neighbours say Find a new way out of that walk in wardrobe find a better way than the way that you came in You could lose yourself in that walk in wardrobe Or find yourself and quietly shed that skin For Mary, the girl next door.
10.
Person or Persons Unknown Where’d we consent to be Ruled by these pricks They’re down on our ass like a shit ton of bricks With the slightest excuse At the drop of a hat Building back better And bollocks like that Don't even know You’re under control Don’t rock the boat and just Do what you’re told We’ll never be shown Who's on the throne The world's being murdered by  Person or Persons Unknown We’re all in their sights They’re itching to shoot They only regard us as low hanging fruit Flapping about like Puppets on strings These are a few of my least favourite things You think it’s OK But you might just find The shit hits the fan if you Step out of line We’re selling our souls For the lowest of bids Building a prison To house all our kids Don't even know You’re under control Don’t rock the boat and just Do what you’re told We’ll never be shown Who's on the throne The world's being murdered by  Person or Persons Unknown
11.
Whirlwind Romance (Ashes for Dreams) A whirlwind romance threw me into your arms Wedding bells morph into fire alarms We dance over rubble The siren, she calls Our shadows flicker On bomb shelter walls In the heat of the moment our hearts set ablaze An overhead Rolls Royce Orchestra plays Our guests now depart And at last we’re alone Together forever As charcoal and bone A whirlwind romance But It’s not as it seems Our footprints are carbon We have ashes for dreams
12.
Porridge 03:15
Porridge We’re free to roam our open prison But can’t help thinking “something’s missing” To those for whom the rules apply The choice is ours..we don’t or die Been sucking on it way too long The tipping point has been and gone Your diktats fall like acid rain You pull too hard, you only break the chain We do the porridge While you do the crime So you have the watches But we have the time Drunk on power in love with the pain It tastes too good to lose it again Here’s a thing you can all rely on We’ll make this the hill we die on With autocratic over-reach You piss all over what you preach We spend our evenings chasing ghosts And gazing up at empty lamp-posts Torch and pitchforks fill the streets Deafened by a million heartbeats We smell their fear…ignore their cries Their Empires crumble right before their eyes We do the porridge While you do the crime So you have the watches But we have the time…

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released April 3, 2022

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