Ashley Madison

from Keep The Receipt by The Funeral Crasher

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lyrics

Ashley Madison

Angus made a dawn escape from Aberdeen
Penny travelled all the way from Devon
For the purpose of a one night stand
That didn't go as either planned
where M6 intersects A57

Malcolm got the 8:15 from Manchester
Mary melts away from Milton Keynes
She packed away her wedding ring
and said "I'm up for anything"
And now she knows what necromancing means

There's nothing quite as sad as an
Affair with Ashley Madison
Premier inn or Travelodge
You'll long to get back into Dodge
The shame is not compulsory
your first stab at adultery
pricked your conscience more than anything else

Elizabeth is a game old bird from Buckingham
Cliff's a pasty, portly chap from Dover
His profile is a pack of lies
with a selfie his Ma wouldn't recognise
they'll both be quite relieved when it's all over

Bob's the Casanova of the Yorkshire Dales
He only booked the hotel for an hour
Debbie's doing Bicester
while her husband does her sister
and they'll all be doing their crying in the shower

Marriott or Radisson?
check-out Ashley Madison
We do our bit when booty calls
To help you empty and lose your balls
you won't call me a cynic
when you're sat outside the clinic
with an itch that you don't wish
to scratch

credits

from Keep The Receipt, released April 1, 2018

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